WARNING: Why spending MORE time dating gives you less dates With Attractive Women! (+ free challenge)

Wait, wait. Spending more time dating nets in less dates? Seems counter-intuitive, but today I'm going to show you exactly why spending less time learning pick up will result in more dates with the attractive women you want to be with. And really, this isn't just about dating, or online dating, but for almost any skill that you undertake!

 
 Wait, wait. Spending more time dating results in less dates? Seems counter-intuitive, but today I'm going to show you exactly why spending less time learning pick up will result in more dates with the attractive women you want to be with. And really, this isn't just about dating, or online dating, but for almost any skill that you undertake!
 

Society tells us that if you want to get really good at something, you need to live it and breath it. That to reach your goals you need to have your foot on the pavement and run head first into every obstacle. 

This is easy to do when you're just starting a project and your passion for it is at it's all time high. When that fades... you have to put your knife to the grindstone and hustle. GrindBlood sweat and tears. Sound familiar? It does to me, because I was told that this is what success takes. 

But when you really look at those success stories, you find that what made them successful was deliberate mindfulness, moderation, and a balanced life. Michael Jordan being a prime example. He was out on the court for three hours every single day to get where he needed to be.

Wait, just three hours?

We have romantic notions of being the Karate Kid - waking up at am to balance on posts by the ocean, wax on wax off in the afternoon, and catch flies with our chopsticks at Midnight before we fall over in exhaustion. 

But this is not real life. Crammed learning has been shown to be ineffective to when compared to deliberate, small learning sessions spread out over a longer period of time. [1][2][3] Over focus breeds obsession, not results. Dating is a great example of this. 

There was a period when I worked with a very well-known dating coach. One of our camera guys was a young man who was exceptional at meeting women, and getting them interested in him. He had no job, and took a meager salary recording "infield dating footage", and slept at a clients house who he'd instruct for free rent.

At 21, he spent a  minimum of twelve hours a day for years doing nothing dating. Ultimately, he got his wish to be a dating coach. 

But as much as this path gave him a refined set of skills, it stripped him from developing an education, an awareness of the world, and a stable core to live free from favors of his handlers. He lacked balance, and while he could attract drunk, naive or uneducated girls, the facade fell apart when he met a woman who required more out of a man than a few lines.

He was actually one of the lucky ones. Most guys end up becoming distant and anti-social from this over focus. Hands down, the students that struggled the most were the ones who practiced the most before attending the bootcamps.

"I go out and meet women for six or more hours a day for the past six months - and I've hit a wall. I can't figure out why I'm not getting any better!" It's over focus at it's worst. All the while, they lose sight of the bigger picture: growing as a person that women would naturally want to be around anyway.

Continued practice is difficult. It takes preparation, mindfulness and effort. It should now take blind emotion and obsession. In the grand scheme of things you'll grow better with thirty minutes a day for a year than 365 hours for six consecutive months. Despite the fact that the latter is double the amount of time spent.

I'll end by telling a quick story - and one that I repeat on occasions when a student overcome with obsession writes me. 

There once was a student who approach a master and said, “If I practice diligent, how long before I too become a master?”

The master reflected on this and replied, “ten years.”

The student, in a rush to accomplish his goals said, “What if I train harder than anyone else, every day, every hour? How long will it take then?”

The master reflected once again and stoically replied, “twenty years.”

Best of luck on your journey, and remember to put down your pen once and awhile and take a breath.