The best way to get better results on Tinder is to see the real successful Tinder conversations of experts (to get reference experience), and the failed Tinder conversation of amateurs (to know what to avoid). That's why we're constantly creating these Tinder breakdowns to show you real conversations. You can watch it in the video or you can read on below for the full breakdown.
Video Tinder Breakdown
In this video, we're analyzing a real tinder conversation sent in by a Zirby Tinder Wingman member. We'll be taking it apart line for line and analyzing the entire conversation. We'll pay special attention to what he did right and of course what he did wrong. So that way in your own messages you can take it to the next level.
You might even find that this conversation looks a lot like your own. By analyzing it like we're doing here you're going to be able to start avoiding some of the common mistakes that our buddy Eddie here is making after we look over the actual conversation we'll recap everything at the end.
The topic here is mistaking a response as investment but there are actually two very different things.
Eddie: Do you like games and cookies?
Girl: Yes of course.
Eddie: Good I hope you're ready for the next thing coming.
Girl: What's that?
Eddie: Your elimination in 2 truths and 1 lie. Go!
First thing he says is about this games and cookies thing as a reference to something that was in her profile and obviously she understands the joke so Eddie actually started off really well here.
Your opening line being something from her profile is always a really strong move and something that you should be doing most of the time if not all the time.
Next up and he tries to bring some more fun into the conversation by playing the two truths and one dare game. It can be really fun especially if you turn it on its head where instead of doing two truths one lie you make two crazy insane lies and one truth just to kind of mess with her. But it's also light-hearted and fun. If you play too much of a standard version of it and you don't exaggerate anything, or if you don't try to stretch anything out and you just make it very basic, it can get boring. Because most guys on tinder use two truths and one lie to break the ice.
Again there's nothing wrong. It's nothing wrong with doing what everyone else is doing. Just make sure that when you do it you take it to that next level.
So diving back into the conversation,
Girl: 1) I'm 5'-10", 2) there are 4 cats and 2 dogs in my house right now and 3) my favorite color is pink.
Now here's the thing she did reply with a lot of information about herself and that's always a good thing however all of this about her is very very surface level. This is the epitome of small talk. The important thing to remember is she is not invested in that yet.
Eddie: 1) I have no weaknesses, 2) I'm white, 3) I can beat chick who wear red glasses in a staring contest. I can tell your favorite color is pink.
So now Eddie gives his response and as you can see it's not bad but it's very very surface level just like hers. It doesn't really reveal anything unique or interesting about him. Specifically worst of all the lie that he gave lacks any kind of extra spiciness. He could make this two truths and a lie game really engaging.
Girl: 3 is a lie. They're pink. (Your three is a lie). I'm confused.
So her reaction here is mild amusement. Maybe not even mild maybe less than mild, but she still is responding which is telling him "hey there's still a chance".
Here Eddie really needs to push this conversation beyond the realm of acquaintance if he wants to make something happen. She's waiting for him to show some form of personality because as he is right now he's being very boring.
Now Eddie responds with a lot.
Eddie: Damn it!!! Pink glasses. And are you sure about that? I'm not sure you know what you're dealing with. I think you're 5'-10" and three is pretty true so no not the real lie.
First off the damn it with three exclamation points - that's not working.
Here's why it comes out of nowhere consider this whole conversation he's been very mild, very boring, very low energy and then all of a sudden he's using all these exclamation points. It comes off as try hard. Plus as a man there really is no reason for you to be using three exclamation points in any sentence unless you're being ironic. Use little to none. One thing if you're using it sparingly but Eddie is making a much bigger mistake here.
The problem here is he's moving the conversation backwards not forwards he's referencing the two truths and a lie thing again. Honestly the first time it wasn't that interesting - let alone the second time. On top of all of that he's sending a giant block of text. That's not always a bad thing but in general you want to pace yourself so you're about even with her messages. For her to get all of those messages at once it will overwhelm her,
You can tell this is the end of the conversation so it did.
He never progressed into real conversation he kept things very surface level. He didn't take any risk in the conversation and kept it very safe the whole time. He was so worried about saying the wrong thing that he only would reference the one thing that actually got her to respond - this stupid little game.
Be willing to take risk in your conversation and allow yourself the possibility to fuck up. It's better to be authentic and moving forward than it is to be safe and stuck in the past.
Remember before when I mentioned the idea of mistaking a response as investment well?
In the moment, it can be easy for you to mistake a girl sending you a big long message with lots of information about herself as her investing in you. However, if it's all surface level you haven't gotten there yet. In reality she's just giving you content, opening the door for you to prove to her that you're a guy who is interesting, fun, authentic and worth her time talking to you.
That's why you need to be moving the conversation beyond silly games and two truths and one lie if you don't pick up on this and you stall too long like Eddie did, you're going to end up in the same situation.
What happens is if you mistake her small talk as her being really engaged and enjoying the conversation, then you kind of say to yourself oh cool I can just keep being safe and boring and she's loving it. In reality, that's not what's happening so again make sure that you don't end up in that same situation by being a little bit more risky in your conversations.
Like Eddy, it's important to remember that staying safe is rarely safe. You don't need to dive into deep conversation topics - but you do need to move beyond small talk.
How to do that is covered within Tinder Wingman - in excruciating details - with both real examples of engaging conversations from successful Tinder and Texting conversations and explained as part of the Online Dating Fundamentals course that comes free within Tinder Wingman membership.
So don't wait - check it out today to learn more about Tinder Wingman and how it will supercharge your dating life.