Every time you’re on social media, whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or a dating app like Bumble, Tinder, OKCupid; you’re bound to scroll through endless amounts of selfies. Good chances are that you have a few yourself in your Tinder profile, or even as your Tinder profile Picture. But this begs the question: are selfies ACTUALLY a good idea?
Let’s start off by revealing the mystery: NO. 99% of selfies don’t go over well. Let’s discuss why your selfies aren’t getting right swipes. (As well as the exception to the no-selfie rule).
Selfie Problem #1 - The (Lack of) Quality.
Having high-quality photos is the most important factor in tinder success. They don’t just look better, they make you seem more confident, more successful, and more personable.
Dr. Jess Carbino, formerly Tinder’s in-house sociologist, found that avoiding muted, boring selfies was an easy way to set yourself apart.
So even though cell phone cameras have come a long long way in recent years, you’ll get a better result if you borrow a friend with a DSLR camera than you will on your own.
Compounding that problem is that most selfies are taken indoors, underneath your flickering yellow incandescent bathroom light. Bad lighting messes with your skin tone, makes your blemishes stand out and casts unwanted shadows.
It keeps you from looking like you.
And they don't look natural.
One more thing -- selfies rarely feel natural. Here we have a good looking guy who’s hurting his chances because this selfie is posed, and uncomfortable. His smile looks forced.
Even worse, the angle is taken from below - causing his face to be distorted (which is also a property of the wide-angle lenses used by most Cell-Phone cameras that should never be used for portrait photography!
The people that can do that are called actors. Or models. Or Instagram moguls. Anyway, they’re not you. No worries, but your selfie doesn’t look good.
Selfie Problem #2 - You Have No Friends
Riddle: What’s worse than one selfie in your Tinder profile?
Answer: 2+ selfies in your Tinder profile.
If, by some miracle, a girl looks at your Tinder selfie and decides she’s gonna check out your second photo, and it turns out that your second photo is also a selfie, there is a big probability that she swipes left.
And if it's a shirtless bathroom selfie... maybe it's time to retire Tinder entirely.
A multiplicity of selfies makes it looks like maybe you don’t have friends, or you don’t go out in public, or go to social events, or ever do anything that merits documentation.
Girls like guys who are fun and sociable, who have their own fulfilling lives even before they come along. If you can’t get people who you meet in real life to hang out with you, why would she want to hang out with you?
It’s a short leap from ‘he doesn’t have friends,’ to, ‘he doesn’t seem like a safe person to be around.’
Despite the proliferation of charming fictional serial killers like Dexter and Patrick Bateman, the notion of the dangerously unhinged loner looms large in public consciousness, and it turns out that girls don’t get on Tinder trying to get murdered. Go figure.
Selfie Problem #3 - You Look Vain
Even if your 6 selfie Tinder profile doesn’t trigger a fight or flight response, it’s likely to give the impression that you’re full of yourself.
The world is full of amazing events, activities, sights, and people, so if the only thing you can think to take a picture of is yourself, that’s going to be a bit of a red flag for most girls.
Studies frequently rank character traits like faithfulness, dependability, and kindness, at the top of the list of things that women find attractive. Women want a partner who’s going to prioritize them and their needs above maintaining their six-pack.
Not surprisingly, surveys frequently tell us that cockiness, douchiness, and conceitedness are things that women are not interested in. (Don’t confuse them with confidence. You can be confident in a bad photo, for example).
If a guy’s Tinder profile is just pictures of himself, which camp is he more likely to fall into?
When Selfies Work on Tinder
The anti-selfie approach, like all rules, can be broken. But make sure you have a strategic reason to do so - like when a selfies is the only time the picture can make sense. E.g.
- White water rafting.
- Performing on stage in front of a large crowd.
The point is any of these could examples make sense. They don’t make you seem vain, don’t make you look like a sociopath, and also serve as excellent conversation starters.
Getting rid of all those Selfies flooding your Tinder profile, you can start to rebuild your profile, ultimately increasing your tinder matches.
This is just the start, which is why we put together Tinder 10X. It will guide you through building an effect Tinder profile No more excuses, and most importantly, no more selfies.