After downloading Tinder for the first time, you set up your account and begin swiping right. A week later you soon begin to notice a trend: You’re not getting any matches. Even worse, you're not getting any dates on Tinder. What's going wrong?
Is it About Your Looks?
There’s a very big misconception about online dating. People assume that you need to be a male model or show a picture of yourself climbing Mount Kilimanjaro (the largest mountain in Africa) to garner the attention of the girls on apps like Tinder and OkCupid.
I’m here to tell you the truth: That’s only 10 percent true.
See, the problem with online dating, or at least what people think, is there’s a need to show off yourself in almost an arrogant way to impress the ladies.
The problem with this, is the fact that most guys have this mentality that they’ll try to show themselves doing “extravagant” things, to make their profile “pop” more.
When I mean “extravagant”, I mean:
- Showing off “one-time activities” such as skydiving or riding an elephant.
- Taking selfies of yourself topless to show off your abs. Or selfies in general.
- Photos with a cute girl to show that cute girls like you.
Here’s what’s wrong with all of these.
- Showing off one-time activities are fine but they don’t tell what your daily life is like.
- Taking selfies and especially, shirtless photos, show a strange sense of arrogance and (ironically) laziness. While you may think you’re impressing women, they’re actually just cringing. Sorry mate.
- One word: taken. If you have women in your Tinder pictures, make sure it's more than just one so you don't look like a couple.
So what does this actually say? I’m not pointing this out to insult anyone trying to improve their online dating game. The beauty of this is each of these points can be applied to more than just dating apps.
Your Facebook Photo is not your Tinder Photo.
When I first started using online dating, I figured I was already starting out right since I had a fair amount of "likes" on my photos on Facebook and Instagram. Those photos would be perfect for my Tinder profile, right?
Not so fast.
Just because your friends or close family like a photo of you doesn't mean women on Tinder will. Why? Because the people you hook up with aren't the same group of people who like your photos on Facebook.
Here's a perfect example: this photo of mine get's a lot of trash talk on my Facebook. Self-absorbed man bun. What's more fun than to hate on that?
But here's the weird thing... this photo kills it on Tinder and has one of the highest match rate %'s I've ever come across.
If I went with the photos of me that had the most likes on my Facebook this photo would never be on my Tinder. In fact, most of my friends would tell me never to put this photo on my profile.
The Right Swipe Misconception
Finally, we have to cover a fundamental mistake that you're making with your Tinder. Swiping right on everyone.
You might think you're getting in front of more women by doing this, but all you're doing is killing your Elo score - the official "score" Tinder users to rate each user.
By swiping right on everyone you're telling Tinder, "Hey, I have no standards! Match me with women who have the lowest response rate."
Don't fall into this trap. If you want more matches be selective (but not too picky) and your Tinder elo score will rise which will make your life easier in the long run.
Once You Get a Match
By now you should have a few matches under your belt, with more on the way as you're continuing to build your Elo score.
The next step is sending an opening message that gets her attention, and ultimately setting up the date or getting her number.
To make this part of your Tindering really easy, we put together a free and uncut Tinder breakdown, where you can see a successful Tinder conversation line by line.