How to Hookup on Tinder (A Woman's Perspective)

If you’re late to the game, dating is now all about swiping. Left for no, right for yes. And that’s it. You’re on your way to hookup on Tinder in the time it’ll take you to do 5 + 7 / 12 in your head. As a female, I'm going to share with you the secret tips to get laid on Tinder.

 
 How to Hookup on Tinder from a Woman's Perspective | Zirby
 

How Tinder is Different for Girls Vs Guys.

For most guys, Hooking Up Tinder is a constant game of swiping right to see who he’ll match. For girls, Tinder is a minefield of dodging douches, dick pics, and downright bad pick-up lines.

So, what is it that makes a Tinder profile swipeable? Or a conversation tolerable? (At least for a woman)?

I dared to enter the male mindset of “always swipe right” to help you up your game... and to avoid these moves, which are just downright lame.

I ended up the day with 30 new matches and 27 new messages.

Jesus Christ. Just way too much of everything.

From pictures to openers, here’s what you should know not to do, and how to fix it.

Your Tinder Photos

 Example of a bad shirtless Tinder photo | Zirby

My choice is 70% reliant on your pictures. There’s a few habits I’ve noticed a lot of guys do that need to be stopped… Like yesterday.

The Shirtless "Cassanova"

MEN. Unless you’re standing on top of a mountain or fishing or doing an activity… Put your shirts back on. I don’t care how nice your six-pack is. If your profile has a picture of you standing in the bathroom/bedroom/gym mirror showing off your stomach, you’re probably a douche and I’m going to swipe left.

This also applies to pics of your crotch. I equally don’t want to see that either.

Mr. Popular

DO NOT PUT MULTIPLE PICTURES WITH THE SAME GIRL IN THEM. I know she’s either your sister or your girlfriend, but I’m 100% going to assume that she’s your girlfriend.

It seems like a great strategy for online dating, but it just... doesn't work. This is the same for Bumble, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel or otherwise.

And I’m 100% going to swipe left. Side note: If you have a girlfriend, get the hell off Tinder.

The One Trick Pony

If I took six of the same photos, within five minutes, and stuck them on my profile, you’d probably swipe right… but have no idea what to talk about beyond my profile.

Make sure you’re posting diverse pictures, so I can pick it up with some information about you, and ask you about it. I promise I'll do the same.

What Good Tinder Hookup Pictures Look Like.

Instead of shirtless selfies, try to have pictures on your Tinder of you out with friends or partaking in your favorite activities. Selfies can be okay, just make sure you’re put together and looking fashionable with your haircut.

Do not look like a slob, and don’t try the male duck face. That makes me uncomfortable on so many levels no matter how good your text game is. The more we see about you, the more we’re going to be able to talk to you about.

Pro-tip: Girls love puppies and babies (as long as they aren’t yours). Try for a cute pic with your pet or a friend’s puppy for bonus conversation points.

Your Bio

The other 30% of my decision to swipe or not is based on what’s below your photos: your bio.

Always err on the side of shortness, keeping it punchy and reflective of your sense of humor. If you want to Hookup on Tinder with me, you're going to need to stand up.

My profile: “Born in London, raised in CT. I like books. And no, I don’t have an accent.” It’s short and to the point. But it shows something about me (and makes for a great tinder conversation starter).

There are a few guys, which I will never swipe right for.

  1. An empty bio… Like, come. On. You’ve gotta give me something. Even the Tinder VP Rosette Pambakian says that's a huge problem.
     
  2. If you have “I’m the nice guy” or “not a fuckboy” anywhere in your profile. 9/10, if you say you’re a nice guy or not a fuck boy… You’re a fuckboy. This may not be true, but show me you’re one… don’t tell me. 
     
  3. You have an essay in your profile and none of it’s interesting.

The Opening Message

Hey. What’s up? Hello.

I’m not a Trap Queen and you’re not Fetty Wap, so you should be using a better opener than that, or you’re going to be ignored.

The overwhelming majority of guys who messaged me started the conversations with some variation of “hey.”

And that's too bad, because I want to hookup on tinder just as much as you

But as a woman, I've got all the cards, so you're going to show me you're worth my time more than my other 20 matches. 

As it turns out, that' really not too hard...

Stop being boring.

Think outside of the lines to come up with an opener that’s going to make me want to talk to you… not unmatch you. There’s a few types that I’ve found always catch my attention:

 

The Cheesy Opening Message

 Screenshot of a Cheesy Tinder Pickup Line | Zirby

While most of the time I roll my eyes at the cheesy pick-up line; they catch my attention (and they work) if they’re really funny or creative… like this one. Be careful not to use cliché ones, and not to make any immediate references to your package.

 

The Ironic Opener

 Opening Message on Tinder | Zirby

Maybe it’s just my personal style, but I love the guys who call attention to the ironies of Tinder.

In this one message, this guy has made the smooth transition from grabbing my attention to an actual conversation… all in one message.

A girl loves her sarcasm, almost as much as boys love their netflix and chill.

 

Using a Gif for your First Message

 Using a GIF in a Tinder Message | Zirby

I’m a sucker for well-placed GIFs; especially ones with seals. Opening with a GIF is a great way to grab my attention or to reveal a love of a show. For instance, I always like sending back Andy Dwyer greeting GIFs because of my love of Parks and Rec.

Having said this, just make sure not to use the first GIF you find…. I got this seal from 4 different guys; change it up to an image that means something to you; or that she can talk to you off of.

 

The Tease

 Flirty Tinder Message | Zirby

It’s great when guys take info from my profile to talk to me. This opening leaves the opportunity for a great conversation about what rival teams he likes, some playful banter, which can lead into more about me and less about my sports interests.

These should get you started, but we also have more tinder openers you can use. Check them out if you still need more ideas on how to impress me.

Go forth, use your new powers to get yourself some Tinder hookups, love and care... Godspeed.


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