Tinder Openers are crucial to nail.
And it's only getting harder to do so.
The question is, how do you write a unique Opener?
One that's different than everything she's heard before?
Without spending hours creating custom messages.
This no-BS guide will give you our proven lines that work.
Along with our strategy for creating your own Tinder openers.
That will result in more responses.
And that you can use again and again.
Avoid these 3 Tinder Opener Mistakes!
Before we get it to what works, first we need to see what doesn't.
I've broken this down into 3 easy to remember points.
And also explain what these will kill your chances with her.
These 3 points are...
- Being Cliche.
- Being too invested.
- Being passive.
Let's talk about what these actually mean...
Problem #1 - Being Cliche.
Saying hey, how are you, what’s up, etc.
This works in person.
But not on Tinder.
Because it's the start of almost every message she receives.
But being cliche isn't just limited to greetings.
It also includes all compliments and emojis.
Though, there are times when Emoji openers can do great.
Read more about it here: Using Emoji Openers on Tinder.
Problem #2 - Being too invested.
I remember the days of using OkCupid in the late 2000's.
Back then, a great opening message was measured in paragraphs. Not sentences.
But today everything has changed.
Keep things short an snappy.
Sending an opener that is longer than three lines...
It might seem like you're showing genuine interest.
But she'll see it as you being a needy guy.
Shoot for one or two lines.
And for god sakes, avoid too many exclamation points.
Be like water.
Problem #3 - Being Passive.
Eastern philosophy describes the world as a duality.
Yin, yang. Light, dark. Masculine, and feminine.
Whether you buy into it or not, if you're male you should represent the "male" side of the spectrum.
This means being active, not passive. Leading, not following. Being strong, not weak (in relationships.)
If a woman can sense you're being passive, she'll assign all those other feminine traits to you.
On Tinder, use active language.
Stand behind what you say.
I see guys that are unsure of themselves after they make a joke.
So they instinctively say "jk" or "haha."
Don't do that.
Also, make sure your opening message involves both of you.
Not just her.
If you're confused, don't worry.
I'll be going over examples of this soon.
Examples of Bad Tinder Opening Messages
Here is a typical girl’s bio.
“I like Ping Pong, traveling to Australia, and sushi. No hookups. I’m looking for a guy who will treat me right.”
Before you read on, make a mental note of what message you might send.
Based on the law of averages, it's likely your line will sound something like this:
“I like Ping Pong too."
“What is your favorite Sushi Roll?"
"What do you like about Australia?"
Well, bad news.
These openers are, almost guaranteed for the girl will not respond.
These opening messages are conventional and passive.
At least they don't ramble.
These lines are too passive because they show too much interest in her.
Rather than focus on the two of you together.
Don't be Needy.
The last two parts of her bio are actually a subtle form of a test.
She's trying to see if you will qualify yourself or act needy.
The girl purposely puts these in her profile to weed out weak guys.
If you open with “I’ll treat you right” or “I don’t do hookups either”, it’s equally as bad as saying “let’s hook up” because you are trying to qualify yourself.
It shows passiveness or weakness.
But what works?
This all begs the question: what works?
How do you create an active approach and open correctly?
That will be in the next section.
There is one last golden rule to avoid. Here it is.
AVOID THIS: The TCE... Or Tinder Conversation Ender.
This one might shock you.
I call it the TCE.
"Tinder Conversation Ender."
That's how important this point is.
The TCE is asking questions.
It's a sure fire way to end the conversation or stop it before it can even start.
In general, people who lack power or knowledge ask questions.
And people who have power make statements.
Simply: The student asks the teacher makes a statement.
In the context of Tinder, there is nothing more boring than a guy who bombards a girl with boring questions.
Not only is getting asked question boring...
But it puts you in that "passive" position I've referenced before.
So avoid questions as much as possible.
Instead, make a statement or an assumption about yourself, the girl...
Or better yet, the two of you.
The 4 Golden Rules Of Great First Messages.
Now that the bases are covered on what to avoid...
We can easily uncover what works.
More or less the opposites.
So the 4 golden rules of successful Tinder Openers are:
- Be creative.
- Be low-invested.
- Be active.
- Make statements or assumptions.
A serious Tinder opener should have all 4 parts.
(Although, you can do less.)
You just might have a lower success rate.
Now let’s get into some of the openers I have used and see how they obey all the rules of opening.
The possibilities are endless here!
It's also worth noting that these conversation starters work not just on Tinder, but also on other online dating apps.
Like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid and more.
Examples Of Successful Copy-Paste Tinder Openers.
Example 1 - The Trouble Maker.
I created this opener, and it is true and dear to my heart.
And yes, it's even a copy-pasted line which you can use.
Normally I avoid copy-pasted lines and go for custom openers.
Which you can see here in my article on 25 Tinder Openers.
Here’s why it works.
The word “may” dulls the compliment so it’s not cliche.
I also follow it up by calling the girl trouble, which takes the compliment back away from her, like she needs to chase the validation.
This is called push-pull.
This technique works great in an opener.
It’s one or two lines depending on the app, so it’s low-investment.
And, the line is active... not passive.
Most importantly, there's no TCE in sight. (Questions.)
Example 2 - No sarcasm intended.
Right off the bat, you can tell that this line is radically different than anything you've probably seen before.
And that's part of why it works.
It’s ironically creative which makes it funny.
If the girl sees that you are sarcastic and creative, it’s a huge tease.
And way better than just saying in your profile "I have a sarcastic sense of humor."
I call this "showing, not telling" and it's a big component in my article on writing killer Tinder bio which you can read here.
(This is also a fundamental rule of good creative writing.)
This opener is also low-investment (5 words! You can’t beat that)
You are disqualifying yourself, which shows you have confidence in yourself.
Example 3 - Winner Winner Chicken Tinder.
This example is... different from the others.
Not only is this on Coffee Meets Bagel.
It's also not a copy pasted line.
And it didn't get a response back!
But, there is are 2 reasons I'm showing this to you.
- It shows how to craft good opening lines with the 4 golden rules.
- You can see that even when you do everything right, you still won't always win.
That's the nature of online dating.
Even with the best "skills," or years of practice, or the "perfect line"...
It's still a numbers game.
Which is a license not to take things too seriously, and actually have fun on Tinder.
Example 4 - Working with Empty Profiles.
This method works with girls who have empty profiles and no bios.
Following all the previous rules, we can make an opening line that is active, references both of us, and is unique.
To do this, I just use her name.
Then, I find a gif a celebrity who has the same name as her.
My message challenges her.
It gets into the push and play we spoke about.
As you can see, this method is very effective.
Even for dealing with "hard" profiles.
The Ultimate Tinder Opener Strategy
The idea of this article is giving you some copy-pasted methods to use on Tinder.
However... that was just a lie.
The real point of this was to show you how to craft your own lines.
Because if you understand how it's done, you can do it yourself.
And that's when you get a lot of dates.
Testing Tinder Openers
Not every opener is created equally.
This is where testing comes into play.
Find the lines that work, and try them over and over with a group of women.
Then change the line completely and try with another group.
Over time you'll narrow down which Openers work best for you.
High Risk, High Reward
There's one more topic we need to cover.
High risk and high reward.
All of the rules we covered so far will get you going in the right direction.
But it's not enough.
You can still follow those points and come off as too guarded.
Another word for that is boring.
The way around this is to be polarizing.
This isn't a license to be intentionally offensive.
But rather, not to worry about if you offend.
The result: Fewer women respond to your messages.
But, a higher number of women that agree to meet with you.
Said another way: The response rate from your matches is drastically lower, but the percent of numbers you get from the girls that do respond to your opener is drastically higher because of the way the opener is crafted.
Statistics for High-Risk High-Reward.
My five-word opener falls into this category.
Usually, (5-15)% of my matches will actually respond to this opener, but ¾ of those responses lead to a number close.
Use this if you get at least 30+ matches per week or you are more experienced.
Low Risk, Low Reward
This opener generates a lot of responses so the quantity is high, but the quality of the responses are low.
The girl will not be as invested in you from this opener.
This is more of a numbers game.
If you have fewer matches than usual, I would suggest taking this route.
Statistics for Low-Risk Low-Reward.
From this category, I can get anywhere from a (60-75)% response rate from the opener, but the percent of number closes from this are (10-15)%.
Use this approach if you are newer towards messaging or you want to practice your messaging skills.
This approach will help you come up with more creative answers when a girl gives you one to three-word responses.
The first opener I showed falls into this category.
Share Your Favorite Copy Pasted Tinder Openers
I'm really curious what your favorite copy and paste Tinder openers are.
Post them in the comments below.
I'll be responding to every comment there.
And if there are any really good ones, I'll try it myself and then post some screenshots in this article along with the statistics of how well they worked for me.
It will be really fun, and you'll also see more examples from others.
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