4 Tinder Openers that ACTUALLY Get Her Attention (+ Real Screenshots)

Are you Tinder opening messages not getting a response back? No problem. By the end of this article, you're going to have 4 Tinder openers that work and get responses back.

This isn't just talking. Each opener includes screengrabs of the convo so you can see it in action. The best part is you can always keep these strategies on hand so if you're stuck just call on one of these to get rolling. 

To make these even easier for you, at the end of the article I included a free downloadable PDF that breaks down a real conversation, line by line. 

 First messages on Tinder that Women Respond to.

Opener 1 - The Power of the Emoji.

If you're familiar with Zirby you already know that we don't recommend sending many (or any) emojis. There are solid reasons for this. Mainly: it makes you look like a teenage girl.

But rules are meant to be broken, right? So we're not just going to break this rule. We're going all in. Our first strategy is going pure emoji. 

Yes, this example is somewhat generic. It might just get attention, but remember, it will be up to you to lead it from here. 

 Using Emoji's on Tinder can Work.

In the case above I made sure that the emoji I used looked like me. I know it's simple, but the most effective Tinder messages are always personalized.

Even if it's a little teeny bit personalized, it still helps. Keep that in mind with your own messages. If you include an emoji that represents her, customize it so... it looks like her.

The key is after she responds it's time to drop the emoji and move into communicating as a man. From this point, I would literally choose something specific to her in and write about that. 

Opener 2 - Even More Emoji on Tinder.

Okay, we're batting 2 for 2 now. It turns out that we can harness even more power out of that little emoji by taking things to the logical conclusion: making an elaborate visual story.

Afterall, who didn't like picture books as a kid?

This is a fun one. You can write out a full elaborate story about you both doing something together. Maybe it's a getaway adventure which ends in her getting pregnant than killing you for you insurance money. 

Maybe it's something else entirely. Just keep it funny and engaging - it's a puzzle for her to figure out. I actually got this idea by sending a similar cute message to my ex girlfriend. It went well! Again, make sure that you customize the emoji's to look like her.

 Tinder Screenshot with Emojis

And as always, the more custom you make your elaborate emoji story, the more effective it will be when you send it. The black hair girl emoji matched what she actually looked like.

Give it a try. It's fun to write the story out emoji by emoji. The more outlandish you make it - the better. In this case it also had some PG13 moments. That doesn't hurt as these kind of messages come across light and fun.

Opener 3 - Using Gifs in your Opening Message.

This is my lowkey favorite way to start conversations on Tinder. Now, keep in mind that most guys are sending Gifs of bears waving... head nods. Etc.

That doesn't mean it won't work for you but we can take things to the next level by customizing the Gifs to something that you see in her profile or is unique to her.

And if you couple that with a short line (so she sees the connection) you've got a real winner.

Remember, not everyone will immediately connect the Gif to something in their own profile because let's face it - we rarely read our own bios once they are set.

 Screenshot of a Gif on Tinder

In the above example, I saw that she was holding up a cat in the same way as from the Lion King. Again, the goal is to be personal.

Avoiding generic Gifs, I sent her one that was directly related to something in her profile and took it to that next level by adding a simple line of text below it "Cats. ^" that injected my sense of humor (and dislike of cats) into the message.

 Funny Gif on real Tinder Screenshot

Don't underestimate how strong this combination is. Being personal always is more effective. Always. Plus it leads the conversation into a natural segway. I don't have to worry about, "Okay, what do I say next?" 

Opener 4 - The Case For Being Personal

In my opinion, by far the most effective Tinder opener. Sure, it might not be flashy like the Gif or emoji. But it's the gold standard.

Not every girl will respond to Emojis. Afterall, that can be a bit immature.

And not every girl will be millennial enough for your Gif. 

But a personal message works. Guys often times will send generic copy-pasted lines to lots of women because they are worried that a lot won't respond. Therefore, they don't want to waste time writing everything out personally.

This advice is hardly new. Even OkCupid figured that out long ago.

It's a positive feedback loop (which is not a positive thing) where the fewer responses you get the more likely you might be to send more copy-pasted lines in an attempt to "cast a bigger net."


What you should be doing is becoming more personal when you notice a drop in your response rate.

Yes, you’re primarily looking at her looks when you swipe right. But she’s looking for a real connect. Remember, she can step out at any moment and go to any bar to find a guy more attractive than you. She’s on here to have her mind stimulated. You do that by being personal.

You're probably thinking "That's fine, but I still don't want to spend all day writing out super personalized messages."

We don't either. The truth is you can be concise and comment on the smallest thing from her profile and still get big results.  Let's look at some examples.

 A Successful Tinder Conversation

In the screenshot above, one of her photos had her wearing plaid. That's it. That's how simple this really can be. She responded well, and I ended up going on a great date with her.

See? Not complicated. You really can make this very easy on yourself. Let's take a peek at another one.

  A Good Opening Message on Tinder

Putting It All Together

Naturally, the opener is only one part of the puzzle. There are still plenty of other mistakes guys make on Tinder.

But the laid back, fun, and personal vibe that comes across in your opening message should continue in your text messages.

Again, be personal, be concise.

Just following this system and you'll have no problem getting big results. Oh, and before we go, I want to share one more example with you.

 A personalized message on Tinder.

I want to show you once again just how effective a personalized opening message on Tinder really is. 

I noticed in her profile that she's into dance, and I moved things forward based on that. 

You might be wondering what the rest of the conversation was like, and how I was able to get her number and eventually bring her out on the date.

Well, good news. You might have noticed those blue dots on the side of some of the text messages. That's because these are screens clips from full, uncut Tinder Breakdowns. 

We put them together so you can see the entire flow of conversation - but more importantly, our feedback on each and every line. 

You can get the Breakdown of this Tinder conversation 100% free. Just click here, or the link button below to see it and we'll email you the full PDF. 

Alright guys, that's it for now. Be sure to let me know in the comments below if you found any of these tips helpful (or if you scored a few dates from one of them!)