You've got great pictures, lots of matches... but not a lot of responses back. What could the problem be? It's like that it's your Tinder bio. A bio won't get you more matches, but it will increase the response rate back and prompt her to message you first. In this post we'll cover 3 mistakes you're probably making right now.
Mistake 1 - Your Bio is too Detailed.
This is a rookie mistake. Your goal is to be thorough, so your brief Tinder bio becomes a novel. You talked about your pet goldfish, your hike through the Andes with your friend Andy, your love for movies about talking toys with "Andy" written on their shoe... whatever.
The point is you write on and on. And on.
Stop. Look, man, here's the reality: you're putting way too much effort into writing too much. When really, your effort should be in distilling down.
You want your bio to be high proof, not watered down slop. Sure, it might seem slim, but two or three well-constructed lines stand out from the pack. Plus, its easier for her to read.
If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter. - Blaise Pascal.
Here's how to Fix it.
If your bio is too long, throw it into a google document. Ruthlessly edit down to two or three lines that best highlight your passions and interests. You can even look up wordplay & puns that you can incorporate into your passions.
e.g. Look up puns related to photography to include in a snappy one-liner about your interest ... and you might just find that she "clicks" with you. See what I did there?
You might also want to bring up food if that's your thing. A new study found that bios that reference food in some way had more success. Yum.
Mistake 2 - You're Listing Boring interests.
Let me guess: you like food. Cooking. You're REALLY big into traveling.
Am I a mind reader? No. These are just passions that literally every living person on earth shares. So unless you're a maverick writer and you can trigger than Barnum effect stay away from the universal.
Your goal is to show her what makes you stand apart.
Which is really important not just for Tinder, but for all dating apps.
She probably won't share your passion for drone racing, or Captain Picard - but she's going to read your profile and think: "Oh, that's kind of quirky and fun... he's cute."
You want to have an exciting profile that stands out from everyone else.
Obviously, you don't want anything too outlandish, but common sense here. You want to Niche down. Don't say you love food, bring up a specific cuisine you're in to.
Here's how to Fix it.
Make a list of all of your interests. Not the small ones, but the things you really care about. And DO NOT edit yourself. Get a list of 30.
An old co-worker of mine had a serious interest in succulent plants. There's something really cool and refreshing about that. You're just writing down things that you like and care about.
Once you do that, pair it down to the top three. Again, it can be silly stuff that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Be it succulent plants, or perfecting the PERFECT Doufu Gong Pao recipe...
Mistake 3 - You're Telling, not Showing.
The biggest mistake, by far. Problem is, this is the hardest one to correct because it's going to take some effort and creativity.
Why bother? See, this is where the magic is. This is what convinces her to message you first.
In writing (where it's a blog post, novel, or even an academic paper) you want to avoid telling the reader how to feel. Instead, you want them to feel the emotion themselves.
That's why laugh tracks on old T.V. shows are so... awkward. And why "try hard" movies fail on their face. It's what makes reading a bad novel boring.
Hell, even Wikipedia has an article on showing, not telling.
One of the best examples of this is from a video game. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. To be honest, I'm not really into video games, but this is one of the few I played.
In one infamous scene (that cause a global uproar over censorship) you, as the protagonist, have infiltrated a terrorist organization that massacres an airport.
What the game designers did was rather than show a cutscene, or just write what happened at the begging of the level, you actually play out the scene where you are forced to shoot innocent families in an airport to gain the trust of the terrorist cell.
It's just a video game, but Jesus Christ it had an effect on me that I will never forget. I just can't describe the effect it had on me. It didn't feel like a game. There were real moral issues I was working through as it happened, and after it happened as I reflected on it.
For more examples, check out our article on writing Tinder bios here. It covers the show don't tell concept in detail with real examples with screenshots.
All of this is a long-winded way to say that the content that has the largest effect on someone is where the content lets the feel the emotion rather telling them how to feel.
Your dating profile (while hopefully FAR less dramatic) should do the same thing. It should make her FEEL the fun and excitement of being with you.
Here's how to Fix it.
Remember those three passions we had you write out in the last action plan? Now we're going to use it. Here's how...
Take the three passions and write out a way to get her to FEEL the passion or interest, rather than just show it...
If you think you're a funny guy, DON'T say that you have a good sense of humor in your profile. Instead, make sure your profile has a pun or joke.
If you love adventure, DON'T say that directly. Instead, write a mini-story example of a highlight of an adventure you went on.
And after you've got your new profile fixed up, come join our 100% Private Facebook group to share yours for feedback. Regardless of what dating site you use, our group will make you that much more effective on it. (We also hold giveaways, Tips, and Memes there... It's fun, so come join.)